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Have you ever tried to diversify you library and then got stuck? Questions might pop up like: How do you know how to talk about difficult subjects with little kids? What if they ask questions you don’t know the answers to? It can be daunting! Most people don’t want to reproduce the harm that society inflicts on minoritized groups so sometimes they just don’t say anything at all. Not saying anything at all, even when it is for fear of saying the wrong thing, ALSO reproduces harm! So let’s break down how to read LGBTQ children’s books without accidentally harming LGBTQ+ people.
How Could You Harm the LGBTQ+ Community?
Living in a world that assumes being heterosexual and cisgender is the default is harmful to folks who are not straight and/or transgender. In addition to always being othered, the LGBTQ+ community faces religious discrimination and legislative discrimination. This is on top of the homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia in our daily lives. We are taught that our sexual orientation and/or gender identity is shameful. This causes real psychological harm, and these effects are compounded for LGBTQ+ folks who hold multiple marginalized identities. If we aren’t thoughtful and methodical when we bring LGBTQ+ children’s books into our learning spaces, we can inadvertently reinforce these messages.
Picking Good Books that Feature LGBTQ+ Characters
First, notice that I said BOOKS. You need to have a variety of books that feature LGBTQ+ characters. No one book will ever cover everything. If you only make available one or two books with LGBTQ+ characters, you run the risk of LGBTQ+ experiences being boiled down to whatever is in those one or two books. A great goal is trying for 10% of the books that you present having LGBTQ+ representation. Go for a variety of types of books too.
In my recent blog post, “The Four Types of LGBTQ+ Books You Need,” I break down these books into 4 categories: adversity, exploratory, exemplary, and simply living. I recommend if you are looking for types of LGBTQ+ books to diversity your shelves you start there. I am not saying that 10% of your books need to be LGBTQ+ books tomorrow, but use this as a first benchmark.
Finding the Experts
Now that you have an idea of what kinds of LGBTQ+ books to incorporate, how do you know which specific books to get? Ask folks who frequently read children’s books like: teachers, parents, and librarians who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. Many of these people can be found online, and it probably won’t surprise you that I am one of those LGBTQ+ folks.
I have blog post on the Best LGBTQ+ Books for Pre-K Kids and the Best LGBTQ+ Books for Toddlers . I also have an entire Bookshop.org store front full of LGBTQ+ children’s book recommendations that have been loved by my kids and me. There are also excellent children’s book instagram accounts like @thetinyactivists and @inclusivestorytime. Both are run by members of the LGBTQ+ community and frequently feature books with great representation.
Seeking out children’s book subject matter experts that are part of the LGBTQ+ community will often help you avoid books that give false information or may focus on stereotypes about the LGBTQ+ community. Seeking out folks who are open about their LGBTQ+ status and frequently work with children’s book is such a good place to start.
What Should You do Before You Read LGBTQ Children’s Books?
This is where so many people go astray. Once you have the books, your work is not done. It is imperative that you are thoughtful about the way you present books featuring LGBTQ+ characters. Additionally, you need to be prepared to answer the questions they will bring up. Please read the books before you read them to children.
The first time you read a book about a minoritized group you are not a part of should NEVER be with children. Why not? Children are smart and can sense your discomfort. If you are uncomfortable about any part of the book, children will pick it up. The children could interpret that discomfort as there being something inherently wrong about the subject matter, in this case LGBTQ+ people.
Children will ask questions and you need to be prepared to answer those questions. You cannot do that if you have never read the book. I am not saying that you can be prepared for any question that the book brings up, you can’t. You should, however, have a good foundation. This foundation is a preliminary reading of the book and researching the answer to any questions it brings up for you.
How Should You Read LGBTQ Children’s Books?
Once you have read the book, then you can decide on the best way to introduce it. If this is a book about LGBTQ+ people getting bullied, you must explicitly point out that bullying is wrong. Additionally, give the child or children the tools to combat the type of bullying in the book. Practice aloud what they should say if they see one someone getting bullied for their LGBTQ+ status.
Next, pair the book where a LGBTQ+ person gets bullied with a book that has no bullying. This can be a book about an exemplary LGBTQ+ person or a book where LGBTQ+ people are simply living. You want to show possibilities for LGBTQ+ people. We have a lot more possibilities than just being the victims of bullying.
Think about where you display books about LGBTQ+ adversity. You don’t want the first time a child encounters a new book about LGBTQ+ adversity to be when they pull it out of a book bin to read. Before a book about LGBTQ+ adversity is freely available it be read with an adult a few times in the way describe above. You want children to have counter narratives to the adversity presented in books before they encounter them on their own. Books about LGBTQ+ people being exemplary or simply living can and should be displayed freely.
Final Considerations
If you are doing this work within your own household, there may come a time when you can introduce a book without doing a read through with the child/ren first. This should only happen if your children are well versed on scripts to counter LGBTQ+ based bullying. Still make sure to read the book before presenting it and doing research on any questions it brings up for you. Finally, I would make sure that you do always come back to reading these books together and practicing the counteracting bullying scripts.
This probably seems like a lot of work to do before you make books with LGBTQ+ representation available. It is work to combat homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia. Ingrained societal hatred takes work to deprogram from our brains. It is worth the time and effort to present positive LGBTQ+ representation to children. It is also worth the time and effort to give children the tools to counteract bullying behavior. If you need any help, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me by email at ashbellconsulting@gmail.com. I often send out tips like this as well as my latest book picks in my newsletter. I would love if you would click the subscribe button and join the toolbox crew.